My heart is heavy, from the work it takes to keep on breathing..

I I wake up in the morning with a feeling I know all too well. I start frantically searching for the inhaler next to my pillow. A deep breath in and out, and again once more. I'm praying and begging for this to work. I lay my head back down, as I do two more,  hoping, maybe just maybe, the hospital is not in store for today. My plans are cancelled, due to my poor lungs being weak. I grab my nebulizer, all plugged in and ready to go. This is my last hope, my last resort. Please let this work. As my lungs sound like whistles and screeches, I just keep breathing. I have to keep faith I'll be alright. But once my neb is done, it's the moment of truth. Did it work? Am I okay? What's my lung function now? Then comes the moment I hate. Six hours before any more meds are due. Six hours of laying and resting. No walks, no going outside, stairs aren't even an option. I just lay here focusing on my breathing. Praying I don't have to pack my hospital bag. 6 hours later, the whistling comes back. My lungs are acting up again and have started another fit. Due for another lung function check, please be higher than last time. I will lay in bed and watch a movie, I will do anything it takes. I just would like to sleep in my own bed again tonight.